HERstory

Yeah I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged over here. Sorry. There has been plenty of things that I can talk about, but I haven’t been so sure how I can put all of these words together.

So today all I’ve been hearing are things that have been making me insanely jealous. Like how the guy I’ve liked for the past 6 months…. has been telling me about how he talks to certain girls. & how he talked to one of our friends. I don’t know but it just seems like he likes her…. & it hurts because she just lets it happen…. Yesterday something happened to her and she was/is all hurt about it. I mean, I want her to get over it but I mean, by taking what I care/love the most? Yes I admit, I have done this to her…. three times I believe? But that was then and I stopped. I don’t like feeling replaced or hurt…. No one does. But I think, if anyone ever took him away from me…. I don’t think I will ever be the same again. It just hurts too much…. If only he knew how much I am still in like with him…. How often I think about him when I’m in classes. I mean when I blog about one of my friends from Michigan it hurts because through my other Tumblr it only sounds like I’m so in love with him….. But in reality…. I am in like with the one that has been standing right in front of me this entire time….. If only this person understood that…. If only I were given the chance…. If only….

Today I was supposed to watch the movie, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, but then my friends flaked out on me because one of them would be sad since today was supposed to be her anniversary with one of her exes who is her “big brother”. It still gets to her. And my other friend, he has band and can’t get out of it. I’m a tad bit disappointed, but I pretty much understand him. So since this plan is canceled, I have to go straight to Santa Clara. I don’t feel like calling my dad about the plans being canceled just yet. I guess I can make the excuse that I slept late. Right?

Other than this, I’m confused because I’m in love with someone who is in a relationship and I’m in like with someone who is so many miles away from me…. I choose the guy whose so far from me, but then the guy I’m in love with keeps pulling me back. I blame myself. Temptation and lust really did get to me….

Thank you for following :)

I really appreciate it.

I haven’t been on this blog for about two months. I’ve checked if I still had followers and I only had one, when I checked it out today, I found this current one. On my official blog, I wrote that I couldn’t really open up as much so I decided to just write everything that goes on. I don’t care it anyone follows me. I made this for me. I want to give my full story. In my other blog, http://rararochelle.tumblr.com I only tell half truths, so in here I’m going full circle. I hope you current followers don’t mind. Alright starting my venting on the next blog.

Goodness </3 it’s my last post for this class. I’m literally going to cry on the last day of school because all of my friends that are seniors are going to be leaving. It’s really going to break my heart. I’ve found myself to fall in love with each and every one of them. And now I won’t see them every day now…. This is just how my friends and I were when one of our other friends left last year. It hurts but life moves on even when you aren’t ready and sooner or later, you’ll move on. Move on to better things and find yourself forgetting about your sorrows. Dang, the end of my sophmore year. I really don’t like sophmore year. Friendships are being slowly torn apart, grades are completely different from last year, and everything else that happens every year. I’ve grown attached to some people and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be how I usually am… Difficult. I can’t help myself when it comes to those I come close to. The memories that have been made, the words we’ve spoken, the promises, the laughs and the fun. It fades away within a second and then you move on. With me, I can’t help but keep it in my heart forever and never forget. Yeah, I’m that type of girl who clings on to memories past, but I know how to just let it slide and move on. I won’t carry a yearbook until the end of my year here at South City. Because for one, this year sucks and two, I still have a long way to go here at this school. The years will pass, I will grow a year older and even wiser. When I think about what I’ve done in the past I always think to myself, “Why in the world did I do that?” or “What went wrong?” But in my head I always think, “Why are these thoughts still lingering here?”

Well my followers, thanks for reading. I will probably blog here every Friday as usual, if I remember. The thing is, it won’t be for school and more of where I stand in my life. Well, live, laugh and love(:

I want to thank you guys for following me even though I just post about my days here at school and what I’m doing outside of it. This blog was just temporary and that I was going to leave it all alone by the end of the semester. I’ll probably try to blog here on Fridays every now and then when I gain the chance so please be patient here with me. There is my other blog though. Hopefully I will try to get my computer fixed and get the proxy all set. My friend still hasn’t finished it and it’s close to being the end of the year which really is getting to me. Other than that, I’m going to miss my friends. BFD on June 6th and I cannot wait :D <3

Thank you for blogging. Much appreciated! I hope you enjoy my posts on Fridays.

Today is Senior Rally </3 A fair few of my friends are seniors from here in South City to El Camino, they will be graduating. It sucks because I won’t see those few seniors that are here in South City daily anymore. When one of my friend’s graduated last year it really broke my heart because he’s one of the coolest guys ever. And those seniors I know this year are the best and I really will miss seeing them everyday. Hell, I’ll even miss my friends that are Juniors. The closest thing to a family are those guys. No matter what.

So today my friend and I decided to wear school girl outfits. Turns out today isn’t such a good day to wear one. Plus side for me, I’m wearing leggings and shorts. Bad news for my friend because she’s just wearing underwear. BAD. Even if I weren’t wearing these leggings, I’d still wear shorts underneath. So what my outfit is: red skirt, black leggings, white short shorts, knee high converse shoes, pigtails and my black tee. This outfit was really out of the blue & I feel a tad bit awkward wearing it due to the fact that it’s raining.

Next period I am presenting! I am so nervous! I got my flash cards set and all but just standing there dressed like this is just really weird. Ah well. So I hope you remaining followers enjoy me somewhat “exciting” life.

Hey guys! I’m really happy right now because I just found out that I passed the California High School Exit Exam! Say what?! I don’t have to take it again next year so I’m pretty stoked that it happened. Well, today here in South San Francisco it is pretty foggy and my hands are freezing. What I’m looking forward to today would probably be getting Jack in the Box when I get picked up my dad. And probably applying at a few places near my school, if possible. What I am looking forward to in the weekend would probably be seeing Iron Man 2 with my dad and celebrating my best friend’s 16th birthday. Hopefully things will turn out as planned. I really screwed up though because the birthday boy found out the party that was supposed to be a suprise. Yup, I blab things out -_- I wish his cousin didn’t tell me about it…. RAWR.

Well Tumblr, that’s all I gotta say right here. I’ve been going through a lot lately and you know what, I’m turning out stronger.

“The heart is a muscle, and what do muscles do when they’re torn? They grow back stronger.”

I am completely indifferent about my personal life right now. Nothing is really coming out right. One of my friends are completely depressed just because they can’t see their boyfriend for more than 2 days. I mean there will be times when you’re torn a part. To my opinion, I think this is just a test to see if they can make it without eachother.

It’s a beautiful Friday here in South San Francisco. Tomorrow is my father’s birthday and he wants to go shopping. I guess that’s one thing I got from him, wanting to spend money on ourselves just because it’s our birthday. Well, boredom took over me and I started drawing the little graphics that I mentioned in my other blog. I wrote the little blob on my hand I’m in love with it. I feel so accomplished. Well, today I’ve been a big procrastinator and I need help. I can plan my day out, but that never means that you are able to do what you’re supposed to. I can have my stuff right in front of me. Set and ready to go, but that would never mean that I would touch it. I really need to stop this horrid habit. Well, I’m still craving that McGangbang…. I really want to get it this time.

Yesterday was my cousin’s birthday. Unfortunately I couldn’t greet him due to me being miles away. Well, I’ll be able to greet him this weekend. My friend couldn’t fix my computer because he’s busy. It pisses me off because he said he would see it yesterday and today and yet nothing happened. I hate this. I mean really now. I know I’m being a hypocrite right now because this is what I’m doing with my projects for school, but I need my computer for them. If I got this done then this probably wouldn’t be happening -___- Well followers, that’s all I got to say for the day. TATA for now ;)

Hi guys! Sorry I’ve been lacking posts, but today is the time for me to blog once again.

So my life is a rush. At this point, I’m stressing out from all of these projects that all of my teachers are giving me. The one that is worrying me the most is the Cold War project. I am afraid of the consequences. Unfortunately, my friend is going through the same thing as me so I’m no longer alone.

A couple of days ago, I was going through this horrid phase. I went through it, but the expectations aren’t there. There are results that will come out of this though. My friend talked to me about this last night and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I just screwed up. He wanted me to go somewhere afterschool with him today, but I don’t want to go. I don’t want them to care about what will happen. Although I don’t want him to do this, it all actually gives me hope and makes me happy.

Today, I’m going to see my best friend at Tanforan for the first time in what is now close to a year. I’m excited. But before I go there, I need a McGangbang(double cheeseburger combined with a mcchicken) sounds disgusting, but I like it. HAHA it’s just another step towards bad health and getting your body out of shape. Other than that little note, I hope you all forgive me for my absense. My computer has been acting all stupid. At lunch my friend helped me delete the files that contained viruses, hopefully it will act normally when I get home and I can finally do my research.

Well, that’s all about HERstory :D Blog later followers!